I mandate a man date

Being a single guy who’s had no luck in dating the opposite sex lately, I’ve found myself going on a lot of man dates.  The most recent one was this weekend when we went to see I Love You, Man.  In case you’ve been living under a rock, the movie (which was quite funny) is about a guy who goes on a series of man dates to find a new best friend.  While there were a number of similarities between the movie and our relationship, my buddy and I didn’t talk about them because such things aren’t done on man dates.

 

This is one of your weirder man dates

 

I caught one of the stars of I Love You, Man, Jason Segel, on Fresh Air the other day and he got it right when he talked about male friendships…it’s tougher for men to make same sex friends as we get older, while women can go into the bathroom and come out with a new best friend.  So it’s important for guys to hold on to and foster these relationships.  In fact, it’s commonplace in many Asian cultures for men to hold hands to show affection.  ***Easy joke alert*** This practice is also quite common here in San Francisco, but I’m not quite at that level yet.

Last ate: some rice pilaf

Listening to: An awesome rendition of “Stand By Me” by the international  organization Playing for Change.  I guarantee this will make you feel good.

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March Mild Angriness

Having just watched Western Kentucky hold on to upset Illinois in the NCAA Tournament, I couldn’t help but chime in on my favorite sport: basketball.  I’ve always loved the game, and follow it closely.  In fact, I was first turned on to Barack Obama in the midst of the Democratic primary when I learned that he’s a baller.  

I play a little as well, and have built up a nice list of accomplishments over my storied career.  Highlights are:

• I once dunked a tennis ball on a 9 foot hoop in August of 2000
• Getting cut from my high school basketball team three years in a row
• A dominant stretch from 2005 to 2006 when I established myself as a top 5 player among regulars at the Duboce Park court

 

Lenin: advocate of the proletariat and the set shot

It was only natural to take this decorated resume to the big time…that’s right, I’m talking about the Intermediate League at the Parnassus Barnach of the UCSF Gym.   I gathered my squad, and we’ve spent the past two months wreaking havoc on the league as the tastefully named Urethra Franklins.  This league is largely made up of medical students, and the highlight of the season was when a player on an opposing team actually asked me if we were urologists.  I told him that we were.  

Despite being one of the worst players on the team, I add value by setting picks and submitting the registration form on time.   On Monday we had a heartbreaking playoff loss to a team of fundamentally sound older guys.  After the game we drowned our sorrows in beer and took solace in the fact that they’ll probably die before we do.

The new season starts in a couple of weeks, and that means we have to pick a new name.  Please cast your vote below:

Last ate: Grilled chicken breast and a salad (bear with me, I’m trying to be healthy)

Listening to: Queen – Fat Bottom Girls (probably the greatest song of the 20th century)

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Things to Look at and Click on

If you’re a sandwich-lover, and I hope that you are, you’ll enjoy this site exploring what’s between that bread: check out Scanwiches.

Chicken salad, Cheddar, Avocado, Bacon, Lettuce, Tomato on a hero

This next clip is for fans of Mad Men, as well as for fans of laughing. John “I’m Don f*$@ing Draper” Hamm is interviewed by comedian Zack Galifianakis interviews in another installment of the hard-hitting interview show you’ve come to know and love, “Between Two Ferns”.

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Last ate: Grilled snapper and rice pilaf
Listening to: Panda Bear – Bros

Rhymes with Jichael Mackson

It’s been a big week for the King of Pop.  Allow me to break it down for you.

• Much of his Neverland Ranch estate is up for auction next month, you can peruse the catalog of items up for sale here.  There are more bronze statuettes of children in here than you would expect from a grown man, but not more bronze statuettes of children than you would expect from Michael Jackson. 


I had this poster over my bed in college. It didn't creep girls out at all.

• It was Michael Jackson night on American Idol.  I’m not an Idol watcher, but I did happen upon this clip of  one contestant doing a killer “PYT”

• And lastly, he announced a new 50 show engagement in London.  That’s right, because of mounting financial pressure due to enormous legal fees incurred in defending himself against multiple child molestation charges he loves his fans so much, MJ announced that he’ll be doing the string of concerts. You can see his announcement in the supremely bizarre press conference below.

Oh yeah, I GOT TICKETS TO ONE OF THE SHOWS. After getting home late from playing pool with a friend (who cleverly took advantage of the fact that I suck at pool), I discovered that presale tickets had just become available in London.  I was able to scrounge up enough pounds to buy a few, so I’ll be shipping off to London with my brother to bask/cower in his glory/weirdness. Good times!

Last ate: a Red Delicious apple (emphasis mine)

Listening to: Michael Jackson – Dirty Diana

Friday Shenanigans – Hudson Hongo Edition

I had a lengthy conversation with a friend the other day about the economy, and I was momentarily inspired to write a 3,000 word post on stagflation.  I soon realized that I don’t know what stagflation means, however, and quickly put the idea to rest.
 

Get it? It's a play on words. I can't believe you didn't get it.

 

Instead, I’d like to turn this post over to the awesomely named Hudson Hongo and his highly amusing McSweeney’s List.

COURT CASES WITH WHICH I AM FAMILIAR.
BY HUDSON HONGO

The City of Eugene v. Hudson Hongo (2004)

Roe v. Wade (1973)

The City of Eugene v. Hudson Hongo (2005)

Plessy v. Ferguson (1896)

The City of Tacoma v. Hudson Hongo (2006)

Brown v. Board of Education (1954)

Hudson Hongo v. Outback Steakhouse (2007)
 

Great List, Hudson. You’re the man now, dog!

Last ate: A Thin Mint, unoftunately not frozen

Listening to: The National – Fake Empire

Andy Rooney Ponders the Months, Embarasses Himself

Sorry I haven’t posted in a while, I’ve had a lot of TPS reports to do this week at the office.

One of the more extraordinary things I’ve seen recently was Andy Rooney’s segment on 60 Minutes this week.  The only conceivable reason he’s still on the air is that the over-200 demographic still kind of likes him.  In the below clip he takes on the controversial topic of “the months”…I’m still waiting to hear back from the CBS customer service department to see if they’ll give me those three minutes of my life back.  

WARNING:  Watching this clip will make you dumber.

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Because nothing can really follow that, below is a low-quality rainbow photo taken from my office.

The pot of gold was in Oakland, where it was promptly stolen.

 

 Last ate: Got totally ripped off at Burgermeister: A chessebruger, curly fries and a beer for $21

Listening to: Tracks of My Tears – Smokey Robinson & The Miracles

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