Hello Colinoscopy fans. Sorry I took a few days off from posting, but I spent the past weekend in Las Vegas and I’m just now starting to recover.
I went with a group of friends and we had a hell of a time. The gracious Eric Barkdoll, my man in Nebraska, was able to finagle us comped rooms at the Flamingo. While the hotel has a bit of a Del Boca Vista feel to it, it’s got a great location and Donnie & Marie Osmond were performing there. We almost went to see them until we realized that they really suck. I would definitely recommend staying at the Flamingo if you can get a room for free.
It rained while we were there, which seemed odd in the desert, but luckily there were plenty of indoor activities to keep us occupied. I spent a good deal of the time at the tables, which was a bad idea considering that I’m a terrible and awkward gambler. I have the poker face of a puppy who just pooped in the house and I’m easier to read than a John Grisham bestseller, but I didn’t let any of these character flaws get in the way of my fun (In this case, “fun” means “losing hundreds of dollars”).
Some thoughts/highlights of the trip:
- I wish I could explain why I routinely walk 4 blocks at lunch to save $0.75 on a tuna sandwich but had few qualms about losing $100 on one spin of the roulette wheel. I should point out that when walking to buy tuna sandwiches I’ve generally slept more than three hours the night before and haven’t been given multiple free Crown & Cokes.
- The pizza at New York, New York is better than anything you can get in San Francisco.
- I spent $16 on a candy apple. I feel really stupid about this.
- It’s almost impossible to make a dealer laugh…they’ve heard em all before. Except for the one about Ronald Reagan, a rabbi and the Vienna Boys Choir. They hadn’t heard that one.
- My friend went to the ATM three times between 2 am and 6 am on Sunday morning.
- The Flamingo buffet was reasonably priced at $21. And they have soft serve!
- I slipped on the wet pavement and fell flat on my back on the ramp from the MGM Grand to New York, New York. This should have hurt more than it did.
- The airport smells like a healthy mix of coconut sunscreen and quiet desperation.
It was a great trip, though I probably don’t need to go back until I win the lottery or Donnie & Marie stop sucking, whichever comes first.
Listening to: Elvis Presley – Can’t Help Falling in Love
Last ate: Nicoise salad