Superbowl Highlights You Won’t Find on Sportscenter

As you all know, yesterday was the American holiday that is Superbowl Sunday.  Since I ended up not getting invited to the party I was hoping for, I went to fulfill my civic duty of drinking beer and overeating while watching 5 hours of television at my brother and sister-in-law‘s place.  

Highlights:

My brother actually made the Bacon Explosion that blew up the internets last week (pun intended).  It was deliciously decadent, but also somewhat nauseating.
 

I'm pretty sure this is illegal in Utah

I'm pretty sure this is illegal in Utah

 

My brother failing miserably at his attempts to curtail his profanity around the two kids his friend brought over

The ribs

I would feel a lot better about myself if I had staged the mess on my face, but this is how I actually looked while eating.

I would feel better about myself if I had staged the mess on my face, but this is how I actually looked while eating.

 

– The first 17 seconds of this Doritos ad

– I guess the game was pretty good too

Lowlights:

– Bruce Springsteen’s crotch on a 46″ HDTV

Springsteen showing America his Pink Cadillac.

Springsteen showing America his Pink Cadillac.

– The myriad hickory-scented bodily emmissions that accompanied the Bacon Explosion

So aside from getting to third base with the Boss and discovering that the Bacon Explosion is meant to be interpreted literally, I’d call Superbowl XLIII* a rousing success.

* That’s “43” for those of you who don’t speak Dutch

Listening to: Eef Barzelay – Lose Big
Last ate: A handful of pad thai. I know that this isn’t the traditional way to eat pad thai, but you had to be there.

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One Response to Superbowl Highlights You Won’t Find on Sportscenter

  1. Partaker says:

    Please find gif of koala in old guy glasses with cup of coffee getting punched in the face. That was my the highlight for me.

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